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We get it: you like to have control of your own internet experience. I vowed never to change my underwear again. We pulled on our tacky pageant dresses and applied our gaudy make-up in a makeshift dressing room in the tiny, one-room theater. Through the haze of the stage lights I could see there was an older, blond woman next to her—a stealthy glance leftward confirmed my prediction. Jordyn, I told myself, this needs to be the greatest performance of your life. We stared out at the audience. My nerves made me stumble over the lines in my opening monologue.

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But seriously, you guys—Meryl Streep! Below are steps you can take in order to whitelist Observer. The play is a satirical beauty pageant in which a cringingly sexist emcee puts three female contestants through three increasingly degrading rounds of pageantry. I vowed never to change my underwear again. We pulled on our tacky pageant dresses and applied our gaudy make-up in a makeshift dressing room in the tiny, one-room theater.

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